Positive Intelligence vs. Emotional Agility

Are unpleasant feelings a valuable doorway to personal insight, or are they the destructive byproduct of misdirected survival instincts?

In Emotional Agility, psychologist and TED Talk favorite Susan David encourages us to seek the wisdom in our sadness, anger, and heartbreak. Conversely, in Positive Intelligence, neuroscientist Shirzad Chamine argues that mental anguish is the equivalent of physical pain — useful as a warning, but unhelpful and unnecessary once its message has been received.

Both authors agree that we should not ignore difficult feelings, and suggest tactics to manage them. From this common starting point, they diverge completely.

“Too much stress on being positive is just one more way our culture figuratively overmedicates the normal fluctuations of our emotions,” David writes. In her view, unpleasant feelings are normal and healthy. The problem, she explains, is that people tend to either Brood over bad feelings, or Bottle them. In either case, the feelings grow stronger and remain unresolved. The Brooder reviews the situation over and over, endlessly pouring mental energy into it. The Bottler refuses to acknowledge the feelings, pretending they will go away. Of course, they don’t, in the same way that a…