The De-Escalation Technique Everyone Should Know

Maybe because I try (and therefore mess up) a lot of things — I’ve spent a lot of my life apologizing. One of my earliest memories is my dad angrily telling me, “Sorry isn’t good enough!” This always bothered me, because as children, we are taught that “I’m sorry,” is what you say when you accidentally hurt someone, break something, or otherwise screw up. For most people, even as adults, “I’m sorry” is all they’ve got.

A few days ago, I had an experience that put me on the other side of this equation. Because of an upcoming event, my wife and I wound up taking our kids clothes shopping around 6 p.m. on a Thursday. After two hours of outlet mall hell (in my opinion, we could have found everything we needed in 15 minutes at Sears, but that’s neither here nor there), we decided to get some dinner at a restaurant, thinking it would be faster than driving home and making food.

Depending on where you live, you may or may not have heard of “The Mellow Mushroom” restaurant chain. It’s a pretty straightforward pizza place with a decent menu, and the location right next to where we’d been shopping had 4.4 stars on Google, so we figured it would be a safe bet for a quick bite. The waiter was friendly, the place was almost empty, and we put our order in at 8:10.

Keep in mind, we were there with three young, hungry, cranky kids. We were not there for a leisurely dining experience. By 8:30, the natives were getting restless, and I asked about the delay. The waiter told us that my wife’s…